Will I be able to love again?
Will I be able to love fully again?
Is that still possible or even feasible?
I don’t know.
I just feel like I can’t do it again.
I think my love has already been distributed to people who just put my feelings into trash. It has been wasted by all the people I trusted, I loved, and I cared for. They all come and go. And now, I don’t know if I will be able to trust the people around me or the people who are popping out in my life to stay.
How will you even know if they are going to stay?
Can you tell me?
Or can you even help me whether they are with me for good or for another short span of time?
Maybe I’m just sick and tired of all the people who come and go and I can’t do anything about it. They say it’s part of our life. Yes, maybe, but don’t you think its’s quite exhausting? And it feels like it is a cycle.
How long will it even take me to wait for the right one who can stay forever? Does she even exist?
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Urggggghhhhhhhh! The feeling is like watching the grains of sand fall down the hour glass one by one.
Where are you right now? What are you doing? Are you also waiting for me? Have we met? Are we on our way to each other’s arms?
It may seem that I’m impatient but actually I’m just excited.
I’m excited for my fears to be removed, my broken heart to be healed, my questions to be answered, my stereotypes to be changed, and for me to do the same to you.
I’m excited for both of us to be happy together and to love you forever. I’m excited for our travels, our treks and hikes, our beach bummin’, and all our adventures, or whatever it is that you want to do.
I just want to be with you and make you happy. I want to see you glow with every sunset and sunrise that we will catch. I want to see you illuminate each time we gaze at the stars. I want to see your reflection as the moon light up your dark and sad days.
I want to dream with you. Build a humble home with a porch and a tree house where we can spend our late night talks and afternoon naps and where we can cuddle and fall asleep together. We will have a decent car for you to be comfortable when you go to work or when we go elsewhere. We’ll have a Japanese Akita to guard us and a Persian Cat that we will pet. We’ll have one or two kids. And we will live a simple and a happy life together forever.
That’s all for now. 🙂 I am waiting for you. 🙂
Until we find each other please take care of yourself. For now, I will try my very best to be the right man for you.