Half-hearted Love: A Letter to My Future


Will I be able to love again?

Will I be able to love fully again?

Is that still possible or even feasible?

I don’t know.

I just feel like I can’t do it again.

I think my love has already been distributed to people who just put my feelings into trash. It has been wasted by all the people I trusted, I loved, and I cared for. They all come and go. And now, I don’t know if I will be able to trust the people around me or the people who are popping out in my life to stay.

How will you even know if they are going to stay?

Can you tell me?

Or can you even help me whether they are with me for good or for another short span of time?

Maybe I’m just sick and tired of all the people who come and go and I can’t do anything about it. They say it’s part of our life. Yes, maybe, but don’t you think its’s quite exhausting? And it feels like it is a cycle.

How long will it even take me to wait for the right one who can stay forever? Does she even exist?

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Urggggghhhhhhhh! The feeling is like watching the grains of sand fall down the hour glass one by one.

Where are you right now? What are you doing? Are you also waiting for me? Have we met? Are we on our way to each other’s arms?

It may seem that I’m impatient but actually I’m just excited.

I’m excited for my fears to be removed, my broken heart to be healed, my questions to be answered, my stereotypes to be changed, and for me to do the same to you.

I’m excited for both of us to be happy together and to love you forever. I’m excited for our travels, our treks and hikes, our beach bummin’, and all our adventures, or whatever it is that you want to do.

I just want to be with you and make you happy. I want to see you glow with every sunset and sunrise that we will catch. I want to see you illuminate each time we gaze at the stars. I want to see your reflection as the moon light up your dark and sad days.

I want to dream with you. Build a humble home with a porch and a tree house where we can spend our late night talks and afternoon naps and where we can cuddle and fall asleep together. We will have a decent car for you to be comfortable when you go to work or when we go elsewhere. We’ll have a Japanese Akita to guard us and a Persian Cat that we will pet. We’ll have one or two kids. And we will live a simple and a happy life together forever.

That’s all for now. 🙂 I am waiting for you. 🙂

Until we find each other please take care of yourself. For now, I will try my very best to be the right man for you.



41 thoughts on “Half-hearted Love: A Letter to My Future

  1. Treat each past relationship as a dress rehearsal for the real thing. Learn from it, adapt and move on for the main event. I am very much into Love ( check out my blog if you like) I truly believe that the right love with the right person is worth all the other stuff prior. Good luck

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    Alfred Lord Tennyson

    I really liked your post 18 megapixel! Hang in there! The love of many has grown cold. We live in dark times but there is hope. Have you asked from above for your true love?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes thats the Right attitude sir. She is somewhere there. For now charge the prev ones to experience. In the meantime take care of yourself. Love yourself and always be ready so that when you finally meet her. You’ll be ready 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I could relate. 🙂 Tho’ it’s has been in my life, somehow, sometime, it’s truly exhausting to love or find someone to love, but as it is, all we can do is pray and wait, asking the ONE who knows all things – HE who truly sees from above. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Glad reading your blog. Let thy heart not lose hope, a traveler’s heart never and will ever back down. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  4. It took me many years and two failed marriages to find my soulmate … and then only when I had quit looking. I think that sometimes, the time just isn’t right. Hang it there, it will happen, probably when you least expect it.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Love isn’t Love until you give it away. Keep heart; you may find a single soulmate, or find just a bit of each person you know who is, in that part, a soulmate. You may find that perfect person and learn they are already “taken”. Try to respect that and love them and yourself anyway. Half a heart is better than none at all.
    angel in the dust

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s sad and painful reading this. When you find the answer to these questions, would you share them to me? Haha. It’s the trust thing. It’s just so hard to trust again. More so, it’s so scary to have somebody else do the same thing and make you feel all the struggles you managed so hard to survive.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such an honest and raw piece.
    Beautiful and relate-able. I hope you find her soon!
    And while you wait, enjoy the journey of becoming the man for her.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s